Monday, March 28, 2011

Underneath That Smile

Since everybody wants to know
What lies beneath my smile
I'm finally going to tell you
What's been secret for a while

The eggs I had for breakfast
They have given me some gas
I know it will be toxic
So I'm hoping it might pass

My underwire push-up bra
To make my chest seem higher
Is sticking in my armpit
And it feels like it's on fire

I'm wearing a new corset
With a scratchy woolen sash
I think that I'm allergic
'Cause it's giving me a rash

I dressed in such a hurry
There's a layer I may have missed
And now I have a wedgie
Got my knickers in a twist

The fastenings on my undies
Have got such an awkward catch
They're tickly and itchy
How I'd love to take a scratch

And there is also one more thing
I think that you should know
I have a tiny bladder
And I really have to go

What's private is now public
You now know what lies beneath
And each and every reason that
I smile and grit my teeth

Posted for Magpie Tales
For my other Magpie, click here


Marilyn said...

This is a really fun poem, I enjoyed it.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely hilarious. Perfect flow and rhymes. A comedic tour-de-force (farce?) Conrats. vb

Templeton's fury said...

made me cuckle!

Helen said...

This is pure wonderful fun!!!

Mad Kane said...

Very, very funny! Loved it! And thanks so much for participating in my latest Limerick-Off! I enjoyed your submissions and your limerick about me too! Thanks!
Mad Kane

Tess Kincaid said...

Hee-hee-HEE!! Very clever, Elaine. Fun read.

Cad said...

Brilliant! LOL

Lyn said...

I'm rolling on the floor with goal in life with everything!!

Mama Zen said...

Wonderful! This made me laugh out loud!

DebbyMc said...

Haha! I figured as much...poor girl... Very nice.

120 Socks said...

Ah poor Mona, hilarious take on prompt

Jinksy said...

Love this 2nd offering too! As to your query on my blog - I use Arcsoft Photostudio 6, which lets me create wondrous things from otherwise ordinary images. It's brilliant! :) You can always email me direct if you want to ask questions. LOL

Lolamouse said...

Thank you for a good laugh this morning! Love the irreverence!

LKHarris-Kolp said...

LOL- A sheer delight! I LOVE your amusing take on the prompt, Elaine.


Steve Isaak said...

Fun, woman-centric annoyances-true work. Good fun!

Lydia said...

Really really fun to read! Those final two stanzas are just hilarious. What am I saying? All of the stanzas are hilarious!

Trellissimo said...

This is better than funny!

Lucy Westenra said...

Oh what fun it is to be a woman! How well you have detailed all the minor irritations. Really good Magpie.

Jingle said...

amazing one.

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