Tuesday, March 8, 2011

how facebook killed my closest friend

(a ballad)

come listen to a tragic tale
your ears I hope you'll lend
how facebook crept into my life
and killed my closest friend

now facebook did not wield a knife
or use a gun to shoot her
it simply by osmosis
sucked her into the computer

way back in the beginning
we were both joined at the hip
we had a lot in common
such a great relationship

she clicked "like"on some pages
and her friendlist grew and grew
It got up to the 1000's
'til she knew not what to do

I gazed in awe and wonder
at her popularity
she had so many friends now
that she had no time for me

quite often, almost daily  
we engaged in facebook chat
but one day she went offline
and that put an end to that

then very slowly over time
in subtle ways so small
was less communication
and less writing on the wall

at first I didn't notice
there was no cause for alarm
we still had games of scrabble
and grew stuff upon our farm

the messages in my inbox
well, they soon began to fail
'til I was just a number
in a really mass email

and then upon the grapevine
I received the latest scoop
that my name was omitted
from the mass emailing loop

I still tried not to worry
for there was no need for doubt
I knew outside of facebook
we'd still spend time hanging out

but when I tried to make some plans
you know what happened next?
she didn't call my cellphone
or send message via text 

I wanted to address this
but she shrugged me off to say
"oh let's just meet on facebook
'cause we're on here everyday"

I still "see" her on facebook
I will not lie or pretend
she may be on my friendlist
but I cannot call her friend

now I have lost my closest friend
she's virtually deceased
with no communication
you could say she "rests in peace"
 so, if anti-social networking
begins consuming you
I pray proceed with caution
lest it kill your best friend too.

    Here lies the remains of a
    "One-Sided Friendship"
    Once a close friend.
Sadly you will (not) be missed.

In lieu of spending money on flowers
I will be spending more quality time on
                  my own, which I was doing anyway.                     

The "friend" in this poem is fictitious. Any resemblence to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.


Kathe W. said...

hoo boy- this is so apropos to how some folks are letting their lives be sucked into the ether net. I limit myself-otherwise who knows! and thanks for your nice comments on my blog! Cheers! Going outside now!

Christine said...

Enjoyed this very much, should read this to the teenagers in the house...what's the point they'll just point out the time I spend on my blog.

happygirl said...

I liked this SO much. Truth and truth. FB killed a friendship I had (she blocked me, so now I no longer exist to her) and made leaving a church, oh so easy. Thanks fb.

Brian Miller said...

nice...thus i am no longer on FB...it kills many and the speed with which it does gets faster every day...

Celestial Dreamz said...

thank god i have deleted my face book account :) enjoyed reading very much.

Charlie Parant said...

This is true, sad and funny all at the same time, Elaine...but I have some friends in the real world that I sometimes think I should delete, but it's much harder there.

hpicasso said...

caller ID is the worst ever...

"anti-social networking"...great spin...and your disclaimer at the end seems so...appropriate

quite clever take on reality

Peace, hp

Elaine said...

I hope I'm not misunderstood. I really like facebook...at lot. But I have seen some very
bizarre behaviour out there too.
I find that fb is great at keeping me connected
with faraway friends, however, a close friendship needs a balance of facebook and face to face time!

Tess Kincaid said...

Clever piece, Elaine. FB should be clearly labeled with it's harmful side effects. I have had a positive experience in networking with poets and making connections for endorsement blurbs for my chapbook through FB.

Amber said...

nice!! i actually have/had a friendship like this.

Anonymous said...

Facebook: a blessing and a curse.

Here's my Facebook post from today...though I think you've already read it! :)


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