how facebook killed my closest friend

(a ballad)

come listen to a tragic tale

your ears I hope you'll lend

how facebook crept into my life

and killed my closest friend

now facebook did not wield a knife

or use a gun to shoot her

it simply by osmosis

sucked her into the computer

way back in the beginning

we were both joined at the hip

we had a lot in common

such a great relationship

she clicked "like"on some pages

and her friendlist grew and grew

It got up to the 1000's

'til she knew not what to do

I gazed in awe and wonder

at her popularity

she had so many friends now

that she had no time for me

quite often, almost daily  

we engaged in facebook chat

but one day she went offline

and that put an end to that

then very slowly over time

in subtle ways so small

was less communication

and less writing on the wall

at first I didn't notice

there was no cause for alarm

we still had games of scrabble

and grew stuff upon our farm

the messages in my inbox

well, they soon began to fail

'til I was just a number

in a really mass email

and then upon the grapevine

I received the latest scoop

that my name was omitted

from the mass emailing loop

I still tried not to worry

for there was no need for doubt

I knew outside of facebook

we'd still spend time hanging out

but when I tried to make some plans

you know what happened next?

she didn't call my cellphone

or send message via text 

I wanted to address this

but she shrugged me off to say

"oh let's just meet on facebook

'cause we're on here everyday"

I still "see" her on facebook

I will not lie or pretend

she may be on my friendlist

but I cannot call her friend

now I have lost my closest friend

she's virtually deceased

with no communication

you could say she "rests in peace"

  

 so, if anti-social networking

begins consuming you

I pray proceed with caution

lest it kill your best friend too.

    Here lies the remains of a

    "One-Sided Friendship"

    Once a close friend.

Sadly you will (not) be missed.

   R.I.P

In lieu of spending money on flowers

I will be spending more quality time on

                  my own, which I was doing anyway.                     

The "friend" in this poem is fictitious. Any resemblence to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.