my facebook
status stated:it's complicated!
i update this current
love/hate my mate
state, won't relate,
communicate,
or set a date,
can't you just
wait? wait wait
WAIT! weightingme down. 'til I write
down the state
of the union,
addressing
virtually all
my "friends"
who will (or won't)
"like" what i "share?"
no"comment(s)"
should i
delete it?
tweet it?
i don't know
or maybe i do
i do, I DO!
wish, that this
i don't know
status quo, that i
bear, bare, like the
aging ringless finger,
cirlce game we
play every day
after day
up and down
round and round
and ring around
the roses i will
carry on the day
we marry, yet we
tarry and we tarry
because...
well, because
it's complicated.
13 comments:
That was clever and fun!
Mad Kane
whew...that took off an ran...great rhyming word play...and aall too real on the 'public' love...careful you dont get unfriended...lol
Facebook. A tragedy of the modern age - it many times nowadays seems to know these things even before we do. Look how fast it updates...
Great modern piece; that rhyme you got caught in during the first stanza really helped kick the piece off. Fun, poignant, with a touch of the unnerving nature of modern society to it...good stuff.
I really enjoyed this! I love the way it flowed until the end, and of course the content was fun as well :)
Dear Elaine
Its very interesting take on your status and so true.. I loved the word play in your verse... and the frustration there... like in the lines below..
'can't you just
wait? wait wait
WAIT! ... '
thanks for sharing..
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/02/whispers-tanka-and-search-for-being.html
Connect with me at Twitter @VerseEveryDay
very nice piece...I enjoy reading (and sometimes writing) in this fast-pace style. Enjoyed this.
Really nice play on words.Great flow,thanks for sharing.
I like that very much! Playful but, as we know, serious business. "aging ringless finger" girl, we need to drink cocktails.
Nice. Very quick and witty. I never did like the "it's complicated" status.
Thankfully the poem (and the status) does not refer to me. I'm still not sure why you would go public with that kind of information anyway. I know a few people with this as there status and it leaves me puzzled. I didn't post this poem to facebook...for obvious reasons
that was great! I really enjoyed it!
What fun and flow!
Facebook, the soap opera of the age, I keep swearing off and find myself peeking in once again.
I'm hoping for a happy ending, if there's a sequel.
I like the breathless speed of this voice and particularly enjoyed the play of the 'i don't know - I DO's'.
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