Tuesday, December 20, 2011

'TwasThe Night Before Christmas - A Procrastinators Parody.

'Twas the night before Christmas
When all through the house
Three creatures were snoring
Two kids and one spouse
The stockings were hung
By the chimney with care
And I stood in the midst
Of unwrapped gift despair

As family were nestled
All snug in their beds
A growing "to do" list
Danced round in my head
While they settled in
For a long winter nap
In panic and frenzy,
I started to wrap.

The noise of the paper
It made such a clatter
My husband awoke
To see what was the matter
Then back to his bed,
He flew with a flash
And I then resumed
My pre-dawn mad dash

Piled high on the carpet
In every tight space
The presents were lying
All over the place
I looked at gift mountain
As minutes ticked by
Saying over and over
"Oh Why Elaine why?"

Puzzled and perplexed
I just did not know
How I could envelop
The objects below
When what to my wondering
Eyes should appear
A box of old gift bags
I'd saved from last year

All sizes and shapes
One for every trick
I knew in a moment
I'd "wrap-up" real quick
More rapid than eagles
So wild and untamed
I threw out the "wrappers"
And called them by name

Now scissors, now paper
Now ribbons, now bow
I no longer need you
So out you must go
Back into the closet
The cupboard, the hall
Now dash away, dash away
Dash away all.

I tried to remember
So not to be crass
To regift a gift bag
Just shows you've no class
Then into the gift bags
The presents they flew
Toys, games, books and treats
And electronics too.

I worked through the night
Like a jolly old elf
And laughed when I'd finished
In spite of myself
Not speaking a word
I continued to work
And filled all the stockings
Then felt my head jerk

My eyelids grew heavy
And started to close
It's time to go upstairs
To bed I suppose
I yawned as I crawled
Into bed out of sight
"Merry Christmas to all,
And to all a goodnight"


Brian Miller said...

haha gift bags are the savior of my christmas wrapping...smiles...you should see some of my packages...lol nice...

Kim Nelson said...

Thank you, Elaine, for a break in the ordinary, using the very familiar. This was pure fun!

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